We were talking about monkeys, marathons, and the feeling of falling in love. And then, as usual, we slipped into out-of-body experiences, astral bodies, spirituality, and the Vedas. And, unlike as usual, I said the obvious—that I am not a believer.
And my good friend SC (I’m protecting the identity of my friends by using only their initials) said it’s a great thing to be an atheist—“a hundred times better than developing a herd mentality.”
I wanted to say I’m not an atheist either, since I don’t know if God exists or not, and I don’t care either way—because in case He or She or It does exist, I’m not impressed with what They have done, or are doing (except for the fantabulous act of creating or conjuring up the whole damn thing, no matter if it was by design or by accident). I don’t know if nāstika is the right word. Perhaps it is. Anyway, I didn’t say it—because SC was excited about what he was saying and I didn’t want to interrupt him. And I like listening to him.
He said he too was an atheist before turning to spirituality, and slowly became a believer—not in religion but in the Vedas. My other good friend SC (they share initials, like many of their opinions) also said the great thing about spirituality is that there’s an answer for everything you want to know.
They explained the concept of Brahma. About Aham Brahmasmi and Tat Tvam Asi. About the ego and getting rid of it. About karma and vritti, and the various layers of the self—from annamaya kosha to anandamaya kosha, through pranamaya, manomaya, and vijnanamaya koshas. About sthula sharira and sukshma sharira. And then there’s the karana sharira—the “why” factor—the answer, or maybe a key clue, to your quest for self-understanding.
We talked about matter and spirit and soul and more.
They say everything has an explanation. And a cause. There’s a cause for our material existence. For each of our supposedly several material existences.
That cause or causes, as far as I understand, is related to karma—that is, things done by past material existences of one’s spiritual self, which, sorry, aren't apparent to one’s present material self. Yoga or meditation helps you understand that cause and free yourself—and return to the Brahma—your (and everyone’s) ultimate, blissful self.
But I still don’t get the point. If good and evil and everything else are all manifestations of the same God—Brahma—and if it doesn’t matter what, why leave the Brahma in the first place? Why material existence? If this is because of the karmas of previous selves, then why the very first one?
If everything happening everywhere is because of somebody’s past karma that nobody—at least not many—around in the present world are aware of, then it all feels kind of purposeless—something staged without any meaning, and without even an audience, for all you know.
Can you believe that? Well, it's not about belief; it's about realisation. But me? I’d rather put my money on the idea of maya.
The funny thing is, you undertake this what-looks-to-me-like-rocket-science practice of meditating for hours (of course, I’m sure it’s a lovely experience—observing yourself and realising enlightening things about you and the universe and everything)… only to arrive at the conclusion that nothing really matters and, I guess, that there is no meaning and that God or Brahma is basically everything in the whole universe—the Brahmandam, or Akhilabrahmanda. And, going by maya, that everything is an illusion.
Is that really worth it? More than just doing what you feel like and sleeping as much as you want? Not for me. Not now.
They say we have free will. The late Pope Francis said that too, in a Wim Wenders documentary that I saw recently. Something like: God has given us free will—even to criticise and deny Him.
I like these people… SC1, SC2, the late Pope Francis, Wim Wenders… and I agree with a lot of what they say.
So, this is my free will speaking: I don’t understand this fucking world, the matter and the spirit.
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