Many years ago when I started this blog, the idea was to write, period.
It didn’t matter what I wrote, whether it was readable, fair, or made any sense to anybody. Hence the name bubbles.
Those days I still used to think I would become a writer some day. And I thought writing was the best way to improve writing. I guess I was right and wrong. I was perhaps right about writing making writing better. I wouldn’t know because I didn’t practice it. And I was wrong about becoming a writer someday. Just some months short of fifty, I guess the sun is behind me.
So, what is it, my life? A wasted one? Was there a purpose? Is there?
There were opportunities. Plenty of them, I confess. There were things I wanted to do -- things I thought could impact the world. Words and actions that I never tried to put down on paper or enact. Perhaps they were not good enough and I knew it in my subconscious mind. Or, perhaps I was plain lazy.
That comes so easily to me -- being lazy, blissfully! The other day I read that an institute in Germany or somewhere is doing a research on lazy people. And they were offering to pay people for doing nothing. Now, I was lazy enough to find out if the offer was open to people as far as in India. I assume it wasn't. That much for laziness.
Now, about my life and its purpose or lack of it. The problem is I don't know if it matters. I guess it doesn't. Otherwise some bigger force would have forced me out of my idleness.
So here I am. A bit sad that I didn’t try to do/write things that I could have; a bit happy that I didn’t waste time trying.
Now ‘what is wasting time’ is a worthy debate that I don’t want to get into now, but I confess I’m not sure if I was wasting time or not. I wasn’t saving any, I guess.
But there's a fear that has sort of started nagging me. That in spite of my unconditional appreciation of laziness and my possibly envious ability to stay on the bed for ever and ever, there could be a day when I get bored of doing nothing, and that day might come just when I finally have nothing much to do, when I officially retire from my job! That would be tragedy!
But then, what comes comes. So one for the future!
Now I want to talk about time. Isn't it non-linear and multi-dimensional?
Let's think about that.
